he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
