I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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