I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
