Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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