I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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