Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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