Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
