There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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