did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
