it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
