new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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