ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
