I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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