Sry I called you an 8
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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