So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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