ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
