My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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