How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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