If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
