I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
