My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
