She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
