Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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