No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
