Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
