pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
