Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
