If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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