I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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