I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
