guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Terrible idea I love it
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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