I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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