How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
