I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We need to rekindle our bromance
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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