her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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