i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
