She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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