Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize