Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize