I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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