she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize