Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Panties = found
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
