No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I want to walk on stilts...naked
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
