just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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