I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
