My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
try to milk me bitch
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
