Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
