I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Jerry, you need to find god
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize