Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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