Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
