she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
