I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
