we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Randomize
