bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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