No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
