you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
